Is this new person a "keeper"
People always want to know how to be able to tell if he or she is the "one". They remember previous experiences when they thought they had met the right one, only to find out later that the person was not who they thought they were. "What were the signs I missed", they often asked. Most people show you who they are right away. We, however, don't want to see these signs if they are negative and if we are attracted to this person, so we tend to excuse or explain things away when we see the "red flags". Pay attention to those first impressions because they are really telling you who this person is and how they will be treating you in the future. Here are some questions that may help you decide:
- Do you notice that he/she has a temper?
- Does he/she complain a lot about their life, their work, their friends or their family?
- Do they take responsibility for any problems in their life?
- Do they ask you questions about your day and how you are doing?
- Do they seem jealous or possessive?
- Are their reactions "over the top" or unreasonable?
- Do you ever feel like you are "walking on eggshells" with him/her?
- Do they make promises that they don't keep?
- Do they show a real interest in getting to know you?
- Are they kind and good- natured most of the time?
- Do you feel safe (emotionally as well as physically) when you are in their presence
- Do you feel that they "have your back", and will be supportive should you feel criticized or put down by someone?
- How do they speak about their exes, with respect or disdain … that's how they will be speaking about you, in the future.
- Do they have the time to focus on developing a relationship?
Getting answers to these questions will help you weed out the users, losers, and self-absorbed ones, and hopefully pull you towards a happier and healthier partner. Isn't that what You are really looking for!
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