Empowerment for Women

We, as women, are brought up to be nurturers, to take care of everyone else. We are so good at reminding our spouse or boyfriend, to call his mother on her birthday, get the perfect gift for his boss, and don't forget to remind him about doctor appointments. We tell our children to believe in themselves, speak up for themselves and hold their head up high. My question is, who does that for us?

As women, we are taught to give and give, to nurture, love, and protect. The other message we receive is that by neglecting ourselves we are being unselfish. This is seen as a positive action. On the other hand, if we ask, "what about me?" we are called selfish and ungrateful. Well, I have news for you, ladies … they were wrong. It is not selfish to take care of yourself, it is actually healthy. And the biggest lie ever, is to believe that you can empower your children and have them feel self-confidant, when you deny yourselves those things which nurture you. Children follow the example of what you do, how you act, and how you treat yourself, not what you say.

High self-esteem and self-confidence, unfortunately does not come automatically with birth, it has to be taught. Unless you were one of the few fortunate ones, who had parents who knew and practiced unconditional love and support, you were probably raised by parents, who did the best they could, coming from their own childhood of criticism and negativity.

That is where empowerment comes in. The time is NOW to work on feeling empowered. Many ask me, what do I mean by empowered? I am talking about self-confidence of course, but more than that, it is KNOWING that we can handle it. Whatever life throws at us, we will find a way to deal with it. It is the opposite feeling of powerlessness and contrary to feeling like a victim or a martyr. It comes from having been through very tough times, and coming out, not only a survivor but victorious. Empowerment is something we all deserve to feel, It makes us redefine life. We start seeing obstacles as challenges. We see failures as learning experiences, and fear of the unknown, which used to paralyse us, is now approached with determination and knowledge that we can get through it. We now know, we have the skills, the capabilities and the belief that nothing can stop us now.

In my private practice, my approach is to guide my clients towards feeling empowered. This alleviates depression, anxiety, feeling powerless and feeling stuck. It is more than just being positive, it is a decision to take back control over your life and refusing to give anyone or anything the power to make you doubt your self-worth or capabilities. Just think how this knowing and belief can inspire your children, partner, and friends. Just imagine the ramifications you will have in your life, when you are feeling empowered and have learned to dance with life rather than endure. What a gift for 2005!

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